APRIL BULLETIN

[vestigemods]

APRIL BULLETIN

► BASICS

Bienvenido, murderfam. 🔪 Surprising no one more than myself, the Bulletin is alarmingly punctual this month. I hope you're proud of me. I'm proud of me.

As an even-numbered month, there are no events in April - just a couple of anomalies to play around with.

As a general note, my Spring quarter has just started, which seems at a glance to be done the first week of June. I'd like to think I'm getting in the swing of this school-practicum-modding-RP balance, but that also feels a lot like hubris so we'll see when May hits and The Fuckbox™ of weeks 4-8 are underway.

ANNOUNCEMENTS OF VARYING IMPORTANCE

• MOTHERFUCKIN' TEST DRIVE MEME - I bet you thought it was just a myth. A legend. A pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But no - Test Drive #3 truly has come to pass. Tell your friends.


• NO-INVITE PERIOD - Aiming for the last half of this month. I'm going to put out a note about it with this TDM, and I've already added an April 2021 update to the FAQ section about our invite-only status.

APRIL IN VESTIGE

WEATHER.

Spring is well underway by now, with sunny skies filled with puffy white clouds and a brisk breeze cooling those who sit in that sun for too long. It sprinkles for an hour or so on 2-3 days per week, but April sees very few proper rains.

WILDLIFE.

The animal populations are acting as animals do at this time of year, with little of particular note to report. The raccoons' Baby Fever seems to have calmed down a bit, with a number of the juvenile raccoons dispersing into the forest or even off into the town where the scavenging is ripe. A small band of them take to Foodland, stealing boxes of crackers or fruits when they think nobody's looking and hiding under the check-out counters when they know they're being watched.

As for plants, a wealth of flowers have come to bloom - but that isn't entirely reassuring news. See 'Anomalies'.

RESOURCES.

In Foodland, one can find the usual assortment of groceries, along with:


• What remains of last month's seeds.


• A particularly robust assortment of chapstick, for those feeling a bit more conscious of their lips thanks to certain dreams.


• A renewed supply of camping gear - basically anything you might find in the camping section at Walmart is fair game.

ANOMALIES FOR APRIL

WAIT, ISN'T IT SUPPOSED TO BE MAY FLOWERS? VARIOUS EFFECTS, ALL MONTH

Throughout the month, in addition to various entirely harmless flowers, a number of less harmless flora seem to be popping up as well. Coming into contact with the pollen of these flowers (whether by direct touch, inhalation, or even just standing too close while the pollen is on the breeze) seems to have an effect on people... Precisely what effect depends on the flower. The following can be encountered throughout the containment zone this month:


• ASPHODELUS - ( 📷 ) This flower will cause the feeling of soul-crushing regret and guilt. What's the one thing that you regret the most? The one thing you would change if you could turn back time? It's time to have that thrown back in your face for the next twelve hours, assuming you're not exposed to this pollen again. The funny thing about it is, you're feeling even worse about it now than you ever did before, even if the issue has long since been resolved.


• BEGONIA - ( 📷 ) Suddenly you're aware that everyone is conspiring against you. Not just your enemies, but your friends and family as well. Even that raccoon over there. Look at the way it's looking at you, making those weird chittery sounds and scampering up and down that tree. It's up to something. Exposure to the begonia pollen will cause intense paranoia for up to twelve hours after initial exposure (assuming you don't come in contact with it again).


• EDELWEIß - ( 📷 ) Oh, Edelweiss. A beloved and simple flower from the Alpine region of Europe. This one will cause you to become extremely reckless, possibly to the point of death. It goes beyond developing or exacerbating a hero complex. It's like experiencing l'appel du vide for twelve hours and actually listening to it. Good luck.


• GENTIANA ANDREWSII - ( 📷 ) When's the last time you had a good night's sleep? A few days? Weeks? Prior to ever showing up here? Here, let's help with that. The pollen from Gentania andrewsii, commonly known as a closed or bottle gentian, will instantly put anyone who comes in contact with it to sleep. It doesn't matter if they're sitting, standing, driving or swimming. They will fall into a deep sleep, varying anywhere from twelve to twenty-four hours. For the duration of that time, some will have a dreamless sleep, while others will experience vivid nightmares and will only awaken after experiencing sleep paralysis.


• GLOXINIA - ( 📷 ) This flower can have one of two main effects, depending on how it is that you're exposed to the pollen. If you touch the pollen with your hands (picking the flower, holding onto it in order to reach in to smell it, etc.), you'll discover ~5-10 minutes later that you're quite allergic to it, and your hand + everything you've touched with that hand since begins to redden and burn like a terrible rash. But some might argue that this is the preferable option, because if you receive the pollen via airborne exposure, you'll find yourself either blinded or deafened instead. Don't worry - both the loss of senses and the burning rash are entirely temporary, wearing off in anywhere from 2-6 hours.


• POPPIES - ( 📷 ) I mean, what do you expect from poppies? This shit gets you high. There's a low but persistent level of opium in the pollen of these bad boys, so buckle up.
  

That's it! Expect the Catch-All Log tomorrow, and I'm also going to wait to Plurk about the TDM until tomorrow too so that I have more brainpower to write a note about the no-invite apps. Otherwise, have a good April!

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[vestigemods]